The Noob Writes, A Silly Poem

The Noob Writes

by Cait Gordon

How awesome, oh, how awesome I write,
except when I totally suck.
When once my wit cut right to the bone,
now it gurgles while drowning in muck.

But no! And lo! This chapter’s not bad,
in fact, it’s beyond all compare.
But wait, oh great, I read it again,
and want to pull out all my hair.

The verys, reallys, nows, justs, and thens!
Repetitive words fill my eyes.
I edit, I fret it, delete and backspace,
only to see them arise.

He reads, she reads, they all read that draft.
I chew my nails down to the quick.
The waiting for comments takes hours and days,
I think that I’m gonna be sick.

They tell me it’s good, liked it a lot.
“Submit it right now,” they all say.
Flames shoot from my keyboard as I rush to toss
my manuscript into the fray.

Ping and ping and ping goes my phone,
rejections ring out one by one.
I say that I’m fine, but just want to eat
cupcakes, tonne by the tonne.

Buck up, doe up, whatever is best
and onwards I stick to the course.
If I gave up now I’d forever be
wallowing, drenched in remorse.

I dunno just how awesome I write,
but in love with my story am I.
Someday I’ll find fans who’ll also agree,
giving me the ultimate high.

To all the writers out there: keep believing in yourselves.


Cait Gordon has been a senior technical writer for high tech and government organizations. Her first novel is being sent to the universe. She hopes the universe likes it. (The second book has begun and a third will happen, too!)

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