Tale of a Swirly Girly

Heya! I’m freshly 51 years old, and I announced a thing on social media this week:

My way of announcing that I’m cryptosexual, by saying “It me” and adding a heart with the flag colours of yellow, salmon/coral, mauve/lilac, and greyish-brown.

Cue the crickets…

There was barely a response. Not even on Facebook among my friends. Thankfully, I privately communicated with my closest buds, and they told me that people aren’t really familiar with this sexual identity, so today on Facebook, I wrote this:

So, yesterday, I sort of came out, and I think most people didn’t really know that I did. For some time now, I felt that I’ve been swirling about all the sexual orientations and not really fitting into any of them. And I’d get confused trying to identify myself. I just kept saying “straight” but felt that was off, too.

Last year in a dream, I was trying to explain this to Talia, when a voice suddenly announced, “You’re Swirly.” Then I woke up and thought, “Huh, that fits.”

Then a few days ago, Canadian space-opera author Stephen Graham King posted about identities under the post-modern (pomosexuality) identity. One was called Cryptosexual. It was totally me: someone who thinks there are no words to describe their identity (hence Swirly, in my case).

This is the pride symbol for it. [I included it in my post.] Yesterday, I realized the middle colours are similar to Xax and Viv’s scales. That was a fun coincidence.

Anyway, my husband calls me his Swirly Girly, which I really love. Even ordered a T-shirt with a design I made.

So, now you know.

While some people might think there are “too many identities,” for people like myself, especially who are neurodiverse, these “extra” identities are validating.

Boom! My friends reacted positively. I have to remember things like that. Sometimes people need an explanation for identities that aren’t as well known.

I feel good. I am a Swirly Girly. My husband nicknamed me that, and I love it so much, I designed a t-shirt!

Grey material with script font that says Swirly Girl. A heart with the colours of the cryptosexual pride flag rests above the "i" in Swirly.
Can’t wait for it to arrive in the post!

That’s all I wanted to write. Hope you have a great weekend!


Black and white photo of Cait Gordon

Cait Gordon is a disability advocate who wants everyone to be wise and prevent the spread of COVID-19!

She’s also the author of Life in the ’Cosm and The Stealth Lovers. When Cait’s not writing, she’s editing manuscripts and running The Spoonie Authors Network, a blog whose contributors manage disabilities and/or chronic conditions. She also teamed up with Kohenet Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the Nothing Without Us anthology (a 2020 Prix Aurora Award finalist) in an attempt to take over the world.

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