I am naturally an upbeat person. I tend to want to have a good time, be silly, and dive into creativity. But 2020 has knocked me on my bottom. If you have been following this blog or my on social media, then you’re aware that I have frozen shoulder, or adhesive capsulitis. I have 24/7 pain, and I am dictating this post.

Don’t worry. I am in physiotherapy, and I will get better. It just might take a few months.

To make things super interesting, I am also going through screenings for three areas inside my body. (Because I really didn’t find the pandemic fun enough?)

My mental health has taken a beating, so has my physical health, and I think I’ve levelled up in my autism. It’s been really hard to return to the activities I love. I think I have reader’s block, if that’s such a thing. I don’t have writers block, but my shoulder injury is write-blocking me right now. I did manage to submit a short story, and it was fascinating to me how long it took me to write it. Only because I couldn’t operate the computer or sit long enough without excruciating pain. At least I did it though. And a sea-folk fantasy story with an all-disabled cast was worth the effort!

But yeah, investigating lumps and wee masses for possible cancer is not what I feel like doing right now; however, I’m really grateful that I do have access to testing. So I’m going to go focus on being thankful that I can get medical care. Mentally, I am hoping for the best, and bracing for possible things to come.

In the meantime, I might just plug away at a very slow pace with writing words. I have so many ideas floating through my head. I also bought something that I hope might help me write in a different way. Stay tuned, and I’ll let you know if it works for me.

But yeah, not sleeping because this pain is like a siren screaming all day and night is really affecting my ability to Cait Gordon.

And I think it’s also really getting to me that I couldn’t make 2020 my big marketing year for The Stealth Lovers and Nothing Without Us. I know there’s nothing I can really do about that, and other authors are going through the same thing, but it’s a bit of a bummer. I am super grateful for everyone who bought the books. Do please consider supporting authors with new releases or late 2019 releases. That would be lovely!

Anyway, I think I’m not only going to take things one day at a time, but maybe also even one hour at a time. It’s just the only way for me to cope right now. And my heart goes out to everyone who’s finding this year extra challenging with sprinkles on top. Here’s to coming through the other side of this!

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Cait Gordon is a disability advocate who wants everyone to be wise and think of others as we battle COVID-19!

She’s also the author of Life in the ’Cosm and The Stealth Lovers. When Cait’s not writing, she’s editing manuscripts and running The Spoonie Authors Network, a blog whose contributors manage disabilities and/or chronic conditions. She also teamed up with Kohenet Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the Nothing Without Us anthology (a 2020 Prix Aurora Award finalist for Best Related Work) in an attempt to take over the world.