Mini-fiction Monday: Golden Infinity

CN: Anti-autistic ableism Genre: Autobiographical poem

Golden infinity. 

A shimmering figure eight 

in repose. 

I’m not a puzzle piece. 

I have endless potential

of being. 

I’m verbal when I’m silent. 

My fingers speak for me. 

Tapping away. 

Sometimes I forget

to turn off the closed captions

on my face. 

I can’t remain focused on one star

when there are a plethora of galaxies 

just waiting to be noticed. 

Some touches cause recoil. 

Others are welcome. 

But on my terms. 

Sound can delight and make me soar. 

It can also cause me to recoil

and flee. 

I am kind, honest, and often clueless. 

Their rules make no sense to me

most of the time. 

Creativity is a salvation, a gift

given by the Creator. 

To practice my craft is to sustain my life. 

I am not “stupid.”

They just don’t want to try to

understand me. 

Folks like me diverge from the “norm.”

We don’t need to be repaired. 

We need acceptance. 

My brain is complex, a whirlwind of 

possibilities. It is mine. 

And I love it just as it is. 

I will never want to fit

into your puzzle. I will continue 

on this loop…

…of golden infinity. 

(Did you know a golden infinity symbol is often used to represent autistic pride?)

Golden Infinity © 2023 Cait Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. This is a work of fiction from the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. For more information, contact Cait Gordon.

A greyscale close-up of me, standing in front of a blank background. I am a white woman with short silver hair cropped closely on the sides. I am wearing dark metallic rimmed glasses with rhinestones on the side. I’m wearing silver hook earrings with flat beads and a plaid shirt.

Cait Gordon is an autistic, disabled, and queer Canadian writer of speculative fiction that celebrates diversity. She is the author of Life in the ’CosmThe Stealth Lovers, and the forthcoming Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space (2023). Cait also founded the Spoonie Authors Network and joined Talia C. Johnson to co-edit the multi-genre disability fiction anthologies Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too. 

Featured photos by Achira22 on

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